


Mahabharata Headcanons from Tumblr

by Dwij008



Category: Mahabharata - Vyasa
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 04:01:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20847191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dwij008/pseuds/Dwij008
Summary: Some Headcanons I wrote from the prompts I received on Tumblr, reposted here.





	1. Chapter 1

**Arjuna finds out Karna is his brother before the final** **fight AU**.

1\. _The bards that sing of glorious death should walk the battlefield at night. Arjuna_ thought as he made his way towards his grandfather’s tent. The screeching vultures, the howling jackals and worst of all ,the horrible stench.This was the bare reality of war. Something crunched underfoot and Arjuna found himself wishing for a chariot. But he did not want the others to know of these visits. The guards respectfully bowed as he reached the entrance. “Come closer Kounteya.” Grandfather Bhishma's gravelly voice called. Arjuna was about to step in as he heard another voice. “Forgive me, Pitamah. I did not intend to interrupt your sleep.” It was the king of Anga. “Such interruptions are what I live for these days. Tell me what troubles you, Commander.” Arjuna was surprised at the warmth in his Grandfather’s voice. And why had he addressed Karna as a Kounteya? “I wonder if I could’ve prevented all this. So much death, so much strife and all because I prized my reputation over peace. If only I had accepted the offer… but how could I when even now I find it difficult to accept that I am Kunti’s son….” Arjuna reeled as if struck. Karna, the man who had assaulted his wife, who had killed his son and nephew, whose hatred gave Yudhishtira sleepless nights; Karna, Arjuna’s sworn enemy, was his brother?

2\. “You are trembling.” Krishna’s voice was filled with concern. Arjuna didn’t even remember how he made his way to Krishna’s tent. “Come, sit.” His friend guided him to the bed. “Karna.. Karna is my brother.” Arjuna looked up at the lack of response. Krishna's face was a mask, his eyes hard as flint. “You knew!” Arjuna rose, suddenly furious. “ I made a promise.” The deliberate nonchalance stung even more than his betrayal. “I had the right to know! You think I wouldn’t kill him if I knew?!” Suddenly Krishna stood up, meeting his gaze with Arjuna’s for the first time. “Will you?”

3\. The words echoed in his mind long after Krishna had left him alone. He had expected Krishna to talk him into a decision, perhaps even hoped for it. But it seemed that Krishna wanted him to come to a decision of his own. Arjuna squeezed his eyes shut. All he had to do was got to Yudhishtira's tent and this could all be over. But… But.. Was that why he had raised his Gandiva? Were sixteen days of carnage for nothing? Arjuna’s stomach turned as he remembered Abhimanyu’s dead eyes, Ghatotkacha's charred body. He remembered watching helplessly as his wife thrashed in her sleep. Had her torment, her endurance been for nothing? Could this new tie of blood change deeds of old? Arjuna had shot arrows at the man he had loved like a father ; he had watched as his revered teacher was cut down mercilessly, was he to falter now? Knowing the truth hadn’t changed the direction of Karna’s arrows, and it wouldn’t change Arjuna’s.

4\. _The shape of his eyes is so much like mother’s, I wonder why I couldn’t see it before. _Arjuna thought as he looked at the severed head of his enemy. “Perhaps because you couldn’t look past the hatred in his eyes.” Krishna slung his arm over Arjuna’s shoulder in silent support. “I understand why you didn’t tell me. Knowing would cause nothing except unnecessary grief.” Arjuna's voice sounded strangely hoarse, even to his own ears. “You intend to keep this from your brothers.” It was not a question. “I didn’t ask them before taking this decision. It isn’t fair to have them share this burden.” Krishna squeezed his shoulder. “Fratricide isn’t an easy burden to bear alone. I had hoped to protect you from it.” Arjuna had never seen him look so weary. “I know. But who said I am alone? I'll always have you.” He smiled. “Always.” Krishna smiled back.

5\. Arjuna stumbled into his tent after hours of feigning glee. He could still hear snatches of song and laughter from outside. Even the usually stoic Yudhishtira had participated in the revels tonight. Arjuna hoped keeping this secret would get easier with time. He tried to sleep but the image of Karna’s dead eyes wouldn’t leave his mind. Arjuna sat up as he heard the tinkle of anklets. He breathed in familiar fragrance of blue lotuses as soft hands held him from behind. “When did you…” he began but she silenced him. “Sleep now.” She whispered. Arjuna hadn’t realized how much he had yearned for this, for her. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, letting her lull him into a dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Yudhishtira's thoughts on his brothers and wife. Swargarohan AU headcanon.**

Yudhishtira had reached the top. After what felt like aeons of climbing, braving the snows and chilly winds and losing everyone he had ever loved, Yudhishtira had reached the top and found… nothing. Had he been the man that he once was, he might’ve been devastated, but now this emptiness only felt right. Perhaps that was the point of this journey, to teach men that no matter what they achieved in the lower realm, in the end all that remained was nothing. Finally, he settled down on a boulder and closed his eyes, awaiting the inevitable. He felt a furry body huddle close to him and a ghost of a smile appeared on his face. “Stubborn thing… Doesn’t even want me to die in peace…” he grumbled, stroking the dog fondly. He didn’t remember how the creature had joined them, had it been Bheema who found him? Or perhaps Arjuna? Truth be told, he couldn’t even picture the faces of his brothers very well. And yet, the memories haunted him, the guilt that he had fought most of his life threatened to overwhelm his mind. With a resigned sigh, Yudhishtira surrendered to his thoughts.   
1\. Panchali had been the first among them to succumb. Her body had given up long ago and it was only through sheer will that she had made it to the foot of the mountain. Yudhishtira had often wondered what kept her going. She had only made it too obvious that she wasn’t concerned much about attaining heaven. Even after years of togetherness Panchali's mind had always been an enigma to him. Why had she always stayed with them? With him? He had never asked her these questions, perhaps because he feared she wouldn’t reply. Or she would. He feared that even more. And yet, here, sitting on a boulder with the wind howling in his ears, Dharmaraja Yudhishtira , finally forced himself to accept the truth. He, who was considered the embodiment of justice in the mortal realm, had never truly been just with his wife. He only hoped that she had found it in her heart to forgive him. 

2\. It was Bheema they lost next. He was the only one amongst Yudhishtira’s brothers who could look him in the eye and point out his faults. Bheema was his brother in the truest sense, the other four had always seemed more like sons. He remembered the days in the forest when it had been only the two of them and Yudhishtira had at least some modicum of a normal childhood. Bheema would get a little too rough in their games but always allowed him to win in the end, for he could never bear to see Yudhishtira sad. Would the world remember his dearest brother as the sensitive and protective man he really was or would it judge him as the man who drank his cousin’s blood? Would they appreciate his quick thinking in battle or would they dismiss him as a brute with no mind of his own? Bheema had always been the protector. It had been Yudhishtira, whose actions had forced him to become a killer. He didn’t know if posterity would ever forgive his actions, but Yudhishtira certainly knew what Bheema’s response would've been if he had ever tried to ask forgiveness. His beloved brother, his closest friend, would've laughed and told him that Kings never apologize. 

3\. Yudhishtira was ashamed to admit that he didn’t remember which of the twins had left them first. Perhaps they had left as they had come into this world ; together. Father had died scarcely a year after the twins had been born. Nakula and Sahadeva had no memory of him and in their mind it was Yudhishtira who had taken the place of a father. He remembered their first words, their first steps, the first time they held a weapon, the first time they killed a man… he remembered it all. And yet for the life of him he couldn’t remember which one of them was the elder. When they were children, they would often fight about it and one day they had come to him to settle the matter. “Nakula.” Yudhishtira had announced. They had accepted it unquestionably. It had never occurred to them that he could be wrong. Their uncle, Shalya, had only made it too clear that the twins were welcome to Madra as its princes any time they wanted but the two refused to even think about it. Not even when he put them up as stakes. People often told tales of Bheema’s strength, of Arjuna’s skill and sometimes even of Yudhishtira's knowledge. Why did they never speak of the twins’ loyalty, their sacrifice? For the world, Nakula and Sahadeva may have been only numbers, overshadowed by their brothers. But Yudhishtira knew and so did Bheema and Arjuna, that the Pandavas would never be what they were without the twins. 

4\. Yudhishtira had been certain that Arjuna would be the one to reach the top. Amongst them all he had been the only one who had scaled these mountains before. So, when he had found his brother slumped against a tree trunk, eyes staring lifelessly ahead, Yudhishtira hadn’t believed it. It had taken quite a few frantic attempts for him to finally accept that his brother was gone. The hours afterward had been the hardest of his life. It was only when he was alone that Yudhisthira realized the small things Arjuna had done to make his journey easier. Things that Yudhishtira had never really noticed. Had it not been true all their life? Why hadn’t Yudhishtira ever taken a moment to let his brother know how of how much he appreciated everything he had done for him, of how his achievements made his chest swell with pride? He didn’t know if the others had ever felt it but Yudhishtira had always felt a void in Arjuna's heart. Right since childhood there had always been a tinge of melancholy in his brother’s eyes which never went away. Not when he was with Panchali or Subhadra or his sons or even Krishna. Perhaps it was the reason why he constantly kept moving, exploring, seeking. Did Arjuna ever find the answers that he sought? Yudhishtira would never know. For he had never asked.

He didn’t remember their faces or their smiles, didn’t even remember the sound of their voices. What he did remember was how he had wronged them, his brothers and wife had lived as exiles, as servants, only because of him. He remembered every missed opportunity, every regret, every little thing he could've told them. Yudhishtira did not know how their story would be told. He only wished he could tell everyone that, he, Dharmaraja Yudhishtira, would gladly give up the greatest paradise for a few moments more with his brothers and wife.


	3. Chapter 3

**Draupadi and Bheema- First and the last time they kissed**

1\. Bheema has known fear. He knows all the shapes it can take. And yet this feeling, as he listens to his wife’s screams is quite unlike anything he has known. And then suddenly everything is quiet and Bheema cannot bear it. He forces open the doors to her chambers just as the cries of a newborn fill them. With swift strides he is beside her. Draupadi's hair is disheveled, face flushed and damp with sweat but she smiles at him and Bheema can breathe again. “Are you alright?” She asks him. “I should be the one asking you that.” She laughs, and the sound of it fills him it warmth, like it always does. “It’s a boy.” The mid wife’s voice brings him back to the world. She offers the child to him and Bheema is suddenly struck by the thought that it should be his elder brother, this child's father, who should hold him for the first time. Before he can dwell on it, the baby is in his arms. He swallows the lump in his throat as he hands over the child to its mother. For a moment, he sits back, savoring the picture they form, his wife and his child (For no matter who fathers the child, all her children are his). She looks up at him and Bheema cannot help himself. He bends down and presses his lips to her forehead. It has been some time since his year with her began but this is the first time he touches her as a husband. For a moment, they only stare at each other and he feels his gut clenching. But then, she tugs him closer and her lips are on his, and Bheema forgets everything, including his own name.

2\. “My journey ends here.” Draupadi says and for a moment Bheema is confused. They had hardly reached the foot of the great white mountains, the point from which their true journey was to begin. “I have no need to go any further.” The words are spoken with finality and they hit Bheema like a physical blow. He watches Yudhishtira step closer and place his hand over her head. They exchange some words but he doesn’t hear them. He watches Yudhishtira leave their makeshift hut and turns to see her engulfed in Nakula's arms. She caresses his back soothingly and then he turns away. Sahadeva cries openly but makes no attempt to change her mind. He holds her for a while but then he is gone too. Bheema turns to Arjuna who shakes his head and Bheema knows all hope is lost. He sinks to his knees. She steps closer, kneeling in front of him. She cradles his face with one hand as the other moves over his features. “Let me stay with you.” He croaks the words out but a sad smile is her only answer. He knows they were never together in this journey. The six of them may have travelled together but in truth, everyone of them walked on a separate road. And hers had reached its end. He doesn’t reach out to hold her for he knows he wouldn’t be able to let go. She pulls him closer and he feels her breath on his face. A part of him is aware that his younger brother might be watching them. He wants to say something, anything, but then, her lips are on his and Bheema forgets everything, including his own name.


	4. Chapter 4

**Arjuna – Envy**

The first time Arjuna noticed Ashwatthama sneak away from the river, he ignored it. Gurudev had himself ordered all of them to fetch pitchers of water in the morning before their training began. But Guru Dronacharya's own son did not seem to think much of this exercise, since he never completed it. When Ashwatthama showed off new tricks with his bow Arjuna tried to think it as a coincidence. Everyday he quashed the doubt in his mind and everyday like a stubborn mule it returned until he could bear no more. Cautiously ,avoiding everyone’s gaze, he followed the Guru-putra. Arjuna’s heart lurched as the Guru himself came in sight. Quickly Arjuna hid behind a tree, praying that the hawk eyed Acharya hadn’t noticed him. But the teacher had eyes only for his son. Cautiously Arjuna raised his head to look at the duo and immediately recognized the stance that Drona was teaching his son. Arjuna had already mastered this one yesterday. “Even after receiving more tutoring, the Guru putra is behind me.” Arjuna felt a perverse satisfaction at this. But then he looked at the Acharya as he kneeled the ground corrected the position of his son's mistakes. It took a few more tries for Ashwatthama to get it right and even then, the arrow hadn’t found its mark perfectly. And yet, Drona smiled at his son with a fondness Arjuna had never seen. He stroked his son's back lovingly as he spoke words Arjuna was too far away to hear. Vaguely, Arjuna recalled a forest, a small bow, a makeshift target, loving hands correcting his grip, an encouraging smile even when his arrows fell short of the target… but before he could savor its warmth, the memory slipped from his mind. He could have everything, the perfect stance, the perfect shots, the best bow, the most powerful astras but as he looked at a Father smiling lovingly at his son, Arjuna realized he would never have this. He could be… no... would be- the greatest warrior in the world but still never have this. Even as envy gripped his mind, Arjuna turned away.

**Ashwatthama- admiration**

“I present, Prince Arjuna, who is dearer to me than my own son.” How many times had he heard his father say those words? Ashwatthama could not remember. His father had never tried to hide them from him. Ashwatthama didn’t know if it was indeed true. Truth be told, he had never been able to read his father well. But what baffled him, what truly baffled him, was his own reaction to those words and to the boy who his father claimed to love more than him. Shouldn’t he feel anger at his father for loving a boy, however skilled, more than his only son and proclaiming it to the world? Shouldn’t he feel the sting of jealousy every time he laid his eyes on Arjuna? He had seen the boy take to the bow with a natural grace that had never truly come to him. Every time he had seen the arrows flowing seamlessly from Arjuna's bow, he had only felt reluctant admiration for the archer. He had stood by as his father taught Arjuna astras that Ashwatthama would perhaps never have and yet never quite found the envy that Duryodhana felt every moment; that Karna seethed with every time he laid eyes on Arjuna. Perhaps envy was like Love, you couldn’t force it. Even now, as he stood on the sidelines and watched the young prince dazzle Hastinapur, he couldn’t help but admire Prince Arjuna's skill. Beside him, Duryodhana seethed with rage and Ashwatthama placed a hand on his friend's shoulder but his eyes never strayed from his Father's favorite pupil. In another life, they could’ve been the best of friends united by their love of archery. But in this life, he was Duryodhana’s friend and all he could do was admire Arjuna from afar, all the while putting on a mask of contempt.


End file.
